Why the Hate, INTJs?

Many people can get easily confused by INTJs because of how different they are from the norm. INTJs are drawn to challenges, so they need something demanding and challenging to provide themselves with motivation. This can be hard for people to understand.

Very few people can see, but if you are willing to spend some time and get close enough to an INTJ, you will experience moments that will change your perception of them.

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen—they will move to something else that will produce results. This is probably the reason they can be hard to get close to. If there’s too much effort for too little reward, then it’s not worth trying.

Types of People That Most INTJs Will Dislike

Here are some common types of people that most INTJs will dislike:

1. Envious people. The only thing an envious person is thinking about is dragging others down to their level instead of celebrating other people's successes and striving to improve themselves.
2. Micro-managers. These are the people who tell others what to do excessively and in a dominating way because they yearn for control.
3. Materialistic people. The ones who crave designer clothing, expensive cars, and status symbols that don't really bring them much joy in the long term.
4. People who lack principles. Even when these people have a set of values, they act against them. They will blindly follow the advice or actions of people despite the fact that it may lead them down the wrong path.
5. People who refuse to listen for emotional reasons. They won’t listen to opinions that are different from their own or opinions from people they cannot accept. Their feelings are most important and anything that opposes them should not be considered.
6. Uninformed people, those who do not have all the facts about a subject and pass off misinformation, yet they do it with such confidence because they think they are right.
7. People who are obsessed with rules, even when they are not needed. They will distrust people who have broken a few rules and as a result not listen to them even if their words are sensible.
8. People who extremely obsessed with social status, or people who believe they are superior to everyone else just because they hold a position of power. These people look down on everyone who doesn't have something to bring to the table.
9. Reckless people. With no self-preservation instinct, these people will do whatever they want and not think about the consequences. These are the type of people who will ask someone for directions then go the other way just because they’re bored.
10. People who are not trustworthy and dependable. These people change their opinions depending on the situation or what kind of position they have.

INTJs stand by their opinions, values, and principles very strongly and expect the same from others. To gain an INTJ’s trust you have to be dependable.

For example, if they rely on someone to complete a certain task, it's because they trust that person and know he or she has succeeded before in doing the same things.

If they trust someone to keep a secret, it's also because he or she has done it well in the past. So you see the pattern.

Obviously, if you betray an INTJ's trust, they'll likely be reluctant to give it to you again for quite some time. INTJs are very skeptical people, so they can only trust a few.

The INTJ’s dominant function is Introverted Intuition, which means they are big picture oriented, settling on one vision and pursuing it relentlessly, often at the expense of “living in the moment”.

Their second function is Extroverted Thinking, which actively engages their first function, Ni. Because of these two functions, INTJ is a type actively engaged in examining the logical world. 

Their third function, Introverted Feeling, deals with their own identity and moral construction. It’s also paired with their inferior function, Extraverted Sensing, which focuses on real-world tangible data.

Because the INTJ’s identity is symbolized physically, you can see many of them representing themselves based on their looks or symbolism, either through something they wear, or a unique persona.

This is not done to show off to others, it is only for themselves. Yet, INTJs tend to favor objective analysis over symbolic identity, which would mean they are naturally inclined towards logical things.

INTJs focus more on their intellect and ideas than they do on their sense of identity, which would make them seem impersonal.

So, according to their function stack, healthy INTJs do not have a passion for hating other people as they are much more concerned with the examination of their own behavior and beliefs to see whether they are good or bad.

Here are some examples of how healthy INTJs would get along with other people:

They communicate effectively

INTJs will be able to utilize their ability to be direct while also keeping a welcoming attitude. They believe in the value of creativity and making room for new ways of thinking from other people, since they actually enjoy looking for different perspectives and sharing a general interest in learning new things with other people.

Culture, science, and the arts are appreciated by INTJs, and while they might not share specific hobbies with everyone, they will most probably be able to find some people that have similar interests.

They calmly address their problems so that conflicts can be easier to resolve

Although they have a natural honesty and openness about their opinions, they tend to demand a lot from other people and may find it difficult to make compromises.

They should be aware of this tendency, and choose instead to listen and try to consider other people’s perspectives.

They’ll communicate their need for space

INTJs can be very productive when given space to work on their own, so often they’ll need a lot of space and time to work independently and not get overstimulated by too much activity.

Working with other people is manageable as long as there's an effort to remain mindful of each other's personal space.

They become open to challenges and changes

INTJs often struggle with change. They are naturally organized people and have a goal-oriented mindset, but if something is not helping them achieve their goals faster, it can feel disruptive.

They should keep in mind that challenges can be solved and that most of the changes can ultimately be beneficial for their lives.

They will work with others to develop structure

INTJs have a passion for schedules, to-do lists, and productivity. If INTJs share their space with another person, there's a good chance that it will be well-organized and tidy.

While the other person may sometimes disagree on how to organize something, healthy INTJs will collaborate to create a system that works for everyone involved.

In short,

- INTJs have a tendency to do things in ways that are different from the norm, which may produce feelings of frustration among others.

- They come off as impersonal people who are more preoccupied with practical, logical thoughts than personal ones.

- INTJs value efficiency, but they can still be extremely patient with people as long as those people try to improve.

- INTJs generally do not hate people without a clear reason to do so.

Each INTJ is different, so it really depends on that specific person. If you happen to be an INTJ and you have specific things that you dislike, be aware that this only shows its irrelevance to you but it does not mean it’s irrelevant to others.

Often times, you will lack aspects that other people deem important. Embrace this point, and you’ll find yourself getting along with more people.

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